Our home: A tale about going all in.

A crazy thing happened last month. My husband looked at a house while I was at a baby shower, and he loved it so much that I agreed to buy it. We didn’t put in an offer until I had a chance to walk through the house too, but the decision was made. I went all in.

For over a year I have been making excuses for why we couldn’t or shouldn’t move. For over a year my husband has been showing me houses online and expressing his desire to move. For over a year we have been weighing the benefits of staying right where we are at and moving closer to my husband’s work. Although the benefits of moving were tempting, I wasn’t ready to leave our home. Change is difficult for me. Once I am comfortable, I like to stay put. Our home has provided so much comfort for me, but ever since my husband changed jobs last summer, I have watched him become weary and frustrated by his long commute. He went all in when I had quit my job. So I’m going all in, too. We’re in this together. There’s no turning back now; we’re moving!

I am excited to embark on this new journey with my husband and kiddos. My husband’s commute will be cut in half. We will still be within minutes of downtown St. Paul. We will be closer to church, so I will get to sleep in a little later on Sundays. We will be within walking distance of an elementary school, which is awesome since my son will be starting kindergarten next fall. Our yard is humongous, so I’m planning on planting everything next year. We will still live close to our families. The neighborhood we are moving to is beautiful. And the house we are moving into fits our personalities. It will require some work, but we have done it all before. We are ready for this move, and we are going all in.

But this move is bittersweet, too. Moving day is getting closer, and I’m starting to get a little emotional. In just a few weeks this house will no longer be our home. We have changed and grown so much since my husband and I bought this house together seven years ago. We were just four months fresh out of college and engaged. We spent nearly seven months pulling out carpet, destroying a bathroom, painting, tiling, refinishing hardwood floors, and remodeling a bathroom before moving into this home together the day after our wedding. We brought both of our babies from the hospital to this home. We have raised them in this home, and our family has been nourished in this home. We’ve made this home our own. And in just a few weeks, this home will no longer belong to us.

How do we pack up the last seven years of our lives and never look back? How does one say goodbye to a place where so many special memories have been created? This is the only home we have known as a married couple and as a mother and father. This home is where we began. How do we leave this home behind when it has been such an important part of our marriage and family? We’ve put so much energy, sweat and time into making this house our own. How do we leave all of our hard work behind? My heart has belonged here for so long. I have belonged here for so long. How do I leave this home? How do we unsettle everything that has settled here over the past seven years? How do I find the comfort I have now in this home in our next home, which is completely foreign to me? This is my home now. But in a few weeks this home will be empty, and a different house will be full of boxes to unpack. Nothing will be in its place, and everything will need to be placed somewhere else. This home will be empty, and another house will be disheveled. And that will be our new home?

Yes. We are moving and that will be our new home. I will look forward. We will look forward together. We will make new memories and hold old memories of our first home in our hearts and souls. We will always have our memories to hold onto, and our home will move with us in our hearts. Our home is where our family is. We will always be at home with each other. And wherever we go, we will be home. Our memories of our first home will move with us always. We will not need to look back because we will not be leaving anything behind.