It’s official. I am in my late-20s. Goodbye mid-20s. I will not miss you.
Last week I turned 28 years old. There is nothing significant about this age, but it was a significant birthday for me. I have big plans for myself this year. This year I am focusing on living in the moment. This year I am focusing on enjoying what is right in front of me. This year I am focusing on making my life count.
After four years of studying to get good grades in college, after nearly 10 years of busting my butt to advance in the workplace and to improve and build on my professional skills, and after four years of trying to understand and survive motherhood, I am challenging myself to do things a little differently. I am challenging myself to breathe, take it all in, and live instead of simply doing my best to survive at home and at work.
In all honesty, I have discovered that I can actually relate a little to Taylor Swift. Yeah, I said it. I’m 28, but I feel a little like 22 this summer. For as long as I can remember, I have been pushing myself to grow up fast. I don’t regret anything, but I probably should have allowed myself to be young and confused and free when I was younger. Instead, I was focused on eliminating confusion as quickly as possible because confusion and uncertainty scared me. I wanted stability, I wanted independence, and I wanted others to be able to depend on me. Well, now I am ready to shake things up a bit. At 28, I am going to allow myself to be confused. I am going to allow myself to be free of who I thought I should be. I am going to allow myself to pursue and live life the way I was meant and created to live — not recklessly, but with intention. I still don’t know what I am meant to do in this world while I am here. But at least I know now that I wasn’t on the right path.
I am confused, more than I have ever been before. But I am okay with that now. Why? Because Taylor Swift is right. Yeah, I said it again. This feeling of being confused is liberating. Yes, I do feel lonely at times because it can be difficult to connect with others when I am still trying to figure out in my own mind what it is that I am trying to achieve. But knowing that I have control over what I do with my confusion and new freedom makes me more happy than lonely. And in some of my loneliest moments, I discover that I am not alone at all. Over the summer, I have run into people I have not seen in years and discovered that we now share similar interests or have similar thoughts about being a twentysomething or a mother. I have met fellow bloggers who are writing about going through similar changes and transitions in their lives. Family members and friends have offered their support and encouragement as I try to figure out what’s next for me after leaving my job earlier this summer. I may feel lonely due to my confusion, but the more comfortable I get with feeling confused, the more I realize that I am connecting with others more than I have in a long time.
Somedays I do feel frustrated and miserable about not knowing what I want to do when I “grow up.” But this summer has been truly magical.
Hi. I’m Aimee. I’m 28.
Earlier this summer I took a huge leap of faith and quit my full-time job to be a full-time mom for the summer. I “gave up” my “career” because it wasn’t right for me or my family. I don’t know what sort of “career” is right for me. But I do know that I love being a mom. I am confused, but I have never felt more free in my life. That’s all part of the journey, though. Who’s with me?